Getting where you want intentionally

Growing up I had a happy childhood. There were also lots of hard things, but ultimately we lived a good life.

As children, life happens because our parents are involved in our lives, and make things happen. When we are little, they often decide what we do, and how we spend our time.

For example, we do what our parents plan for our birthday, and we live the life that our parents create with the best of their abilities. Then eventually we grow up and we are on our own. We are still surrounded by loved ones that can help us, hopefully.

Now, based on our past, once we are adults, we can remember that our past circumstances and opportunities may make it easy or hard for us to do certain things now, but they ultimately don’t define us.

As adults we are in charged of our lives and ultimately our future.

This is something that we can have a lot of control over, if we know we are making good decisions. This can also be very hopeful and empowering.

Lately, I have been more so aware of this, and that is why I have been trying to be very intentional about everything I do.

My husband is really good at keeping the end in mind whenever making decisions. And it’s not just about the end of this life, but also the life to come.

While here on earth, I also realize that it is up to us, oftentimes, to make things happen.

I have always dreamt of so many things. I remember I used to be a bit upset when things didn’t turn out how I imagined. Until I recently realized that perhaps it was because I couldn’t wait for others to create that for me, I had to go and create it.

For example if I want a magical birthday, I can wish for it, I can hope for my husband to create one, but ultimately I also may just need to decide what it would mean to me to have a great birthday. What do I picture myself doing? What would I like as a present? And maybe let my husband know or make plans accordingly. If I just waited for the day to come and didn’t plan anything, I am sure there would still be lots of special things, but it may not turn out as magical as I wanted it.

Have you ever heard a kid awaiting for his birthday and going around the house shouting to everyone every detail of that day, the colors, the cake, the presents and how everything will be?

I am sure some people as grownups still have very special people that help them make their day magical. But let’s face it, sometimes people can’t read our mind. And for many other things too, I have realized that we have to make it happen ourselves.

I always wanted for example to have an awesome wardrobe with clothes I loved. For years I often didn’t like what I saw every time I went to get dressed. It was then, that I realized it was my fault for bringing in each and every one of those items that I did not absolutely love. I hadn’t been intentional when I purchased. Had I been more intentional I would have actually had amazing things. I would have even waited and saved for more expensive, but nicer things.

The same goes for the bigger things. Like the home where we will live, where we choose to live, the careers we choose, how we invest and spend our money, how we plan for our life 20 years from now. They say that you can make life happen or life will happen to you. Every path requires deviation and recalibration. But we can rest assure that we are not at least trying to head where we would like to be, with conscious and active actions, we will never get there. 

So lately, I am a huge advocate for shaping our future and making things happen. It’s easy to be mad at others when we don’t have life our way. But I try not to even go there and think about it. Because sometimes others just didn’t even realize they weren’t meeting our needs. And ultimately we are responsible for our future. We can truly get where we would like and probably like it even better when we take the reins and take charge of our own days and what we do, and how we go about life. We will be proud of what we did.

We keep our goals in many places displayed at home and in our phones. I love to go back and see how they came to pass. Being intentional is about shaping our future in our minds, and also finding a way to get there. Sometimes we may have a plan and we may not know all the details. I can honestly say that whenever I look back, I can see where the opportunity did come though and I was able to take it because I had at least been searching for it. 

Growing up I always dreamt of who I wanted to be as an adult, and how I wanted my life to be. That step alone was the foundation for me to start heading where I wanted to in life. As a grownup, I am learning that I have to also create a tentative plan to get there. That is where I have to be intentional about my decisions. My husband and I do that when we think of the type of lifestyle we would like to live. The type of things we would like to do and fit in with what we have available to us. 

If I want to live a certain way, I cannot follow the crowds and do what seems the most popular decision at the time. I have to do things that may make me uncomfortable, but are worth doing in the end. 

I have to forge my way through rather than hope for destiny to happen to me. I don’t believe in destiny anymore. I know that God has a good plan for me for sure. That plan mostly will involve for me to do the things I love and share them with others to help them feel happy, but I also know that I have freedom to choose and I can create the life of my dreams myself. I don’t have to wait for chance, or for some better luck, or for things to have only gone better in the past. I can take the road ahead of me and push it in the direction that I dream of and create a future that we love. I used to fear the future and also be sad about some things in the past. But knowing I still have control over the future, makes me look forward with tons fo hope and excitement. 

Love, M. Serena Essuman

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